whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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