i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
