You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
not ubering you a puppy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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