Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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