why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
