i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
