I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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