nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize