I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
