We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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