can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
