We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize