I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
