i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
