somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
