So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
