I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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