All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize