playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
