Will you blow on my dice?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
