she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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