I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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