The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
