How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
