He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
