fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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