honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
