u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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