do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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