yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
