lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize