I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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