he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize