It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
