oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
