I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
