just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
