I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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