my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
