I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
