I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
