TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
