Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
