I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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