fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
