you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
