Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Found your dick twin last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize