She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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