dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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