i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
