Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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