Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
