It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
