Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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