Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
