i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
