yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
