I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
