I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
