He uses pillows to masturbate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
