i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
