So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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