Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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