like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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