I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
