I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize