its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize