Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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