Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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