thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
