Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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